Shove that love

This may sound angsty. This may sound like the remonstrations of a freshly jilted, unrequited lover. Complete with a beard, teary eyes, messy hair and crumpled clothes. But it is none of these.

This post I write in one of my sanest, most analytical moods, akin to the mindset of a scientist writing his research observations in a chemical laboratory. Life is my laboratory, people my instruments and chemicals and this blog my lab-notebook. And right now, as the day ends, my test-tube and beakers lie on their stands, my Bunsen burner has been turned of, and my chemical stained white coat lies draped on a chair. I sit and right my days observations.


Last night a friend told me that she was in love. (with whom matters not). And confessed to heartbreak and pining - the object of her love being unavailable.

I was at a loss to say anything. I hummed and hoed and kept silent. But mental gears shifted and I was asking myself is she truly in love? And, above all what exactly is love? I have been trying to define love ever since.

Love is ego. Love is a manifestation of the self. Nothing more and nothing less. All forms of love are just our quests to fulfill the I.

Maternal love is the fulfillment of the self in the offspring. Extend that to parental.
Conjugal love is the feeling arising out of possession. A man loves a woman because she is his. And a woman loves a woman because he is hers. No that’s not rocket science. But can you identify the ego there. The single letter "I" shining everywhere.

And finally even god loves us on the precondition that we accept "HIS" existence and obey "HIM". You satisfy god's ego and you get a free, all expenses paid trip to heaven. At least that’s what the bible says. (Considering that Christianity is by far the biggest religion in the world, I have taken the bible as a definitive guide to divinity - its like the Microsoft of the religious industry, so it gets to rule).

Of course, quite simple since god is easy to satisfy. All you got to do is say "Hey there, I believe in you" once in seven days. and follow the rulebook that gods mommy made him follow as a kid - clean behind the ears, shining shoes, brush your teeth - regular stuff all.

Sorry for the digression. As I said, love is ego. And its such an obvious conclusion, I am sure most people realize that already. The most concrete love is vested in the satisfaction of the self. Anything else, anything that is not self-gratis, will erode soon.

And this works in quite devious underhand ways to fool humans into thinking that love is a feeling/emotion that stands by itself. Like the lover who pines in separation. Sacrifices, kills himself or herself -and thinks its an act of love. Its basically ego. The big question that haunts them "Why did she leave ME" (notice the capital letters).

What else do I say? Its the same thing everywhere - MY son, MY wife/husband, MY garden, MY god - MY MY MY. I I I.

Ok. If you are wondering, there’s absolutely nothing wrong with this. That love is just a metamorphosed form of ego, an exercise in self-fulfillment, is perfectly normal and also something good. For whatever the task list that you were sent with on earth, #1 in it is self preservation and self fulfillment. If you cant do that, you cant do anything on earth.

Most people don’t realize the #1 task. Others realize it, but don’t know how to go about doing it correctly and end up doing stupid things. Finally there’s the chosen few who both figure it out and find a way out of doing it.

The best examples that come to my mind are Jesus and Hitler. One decided to save the Jews. The other decided to gas them. In both cases they were just satisfying their inherent need to satisfy an inner urge. Its like "If I am here, I might as well do something" The Jews were just a means to satisfy an end. Of course both men ended up dead in their high powered ego-drive, but then that’s where we all are headed eventually.

Sorry, digressed again. So my point is love whoever you want to love, pine all you want, become a martyr or a parent, but know that you are doing it just for yourself. And that’s the best you can do as human.