why is sex bad?
No sex isnt bad. Not at all.
Yeah rite. Will you sleep with me tonight?
ummmm...
See...why cant we treat sex as something normal? As a normal human urge that has to be satisfied? Like food and thirst?
And wats the big deal about it?
theres no big deal. whats with you? I think you are suddenly horny.
OK. what if I am horny? Maybe I am horny. Maybe I aint. But I am sick of this "we dont care about sex" attitude that folks like to hang around their necks. While all the while, thats whats on their minds.
hmmm...its certainly not an issue to wear on your t-shirt. "I Love to Fuck"...you want them to roam around in shirts like those? whats your point?
my point is, when you are thirsty, you go ask for water. You dont walk around assuming you never heard of water. You dont act as if drinking water, except from one particular glass, is sin. Tell me, do u?
you are oversimplifying things. sex and thirst aint the same things.
they are. we are just conditioned to think they are not. we are conditioned to think that sex is something mysterious, deeply sinful yet something that everyone does in secret. and by doing this we have blown it out of proportion.
i think you are blowing it out of proportion. if people have their private lives, whats the problem? civilised society demands some order. equating sex with water will lead to chaos. we would behave like animals.
And are we doing any better right now? are we really? under our high-brow, puritan stance, arent there so many dark desires and hidden truths? Why not have the courage to accept? To admit to the desires instead of lusting secretly.
and do what? sleep around? be unfaithful? be loose?
Thats upto people. I feel you should be honest rather than be a hypocrit. If you ahve thought about it, you have as good as done it. And theres nothing wrong in admitting to it. Whats wrong is to play the moralist. to fake things. that sucks.
Friday, March 18, 2005
Mindless ramblings part I...
Since no body seems to be visitng my blog anyway, I can ramble mindlessly here. Not care about the grammar and the style, not try to sound like a pompous fart, not try to feign intelligence.
I can be myself here. For a change? No usually I am myself all the time. But the problem is that I have so many selves that everyone doesnt get a fair chance.
Like right now I am the mad self...wanting to ramble. Listening to Comfortably Numb (comfortably numb myself) , installing exchange servers and domain controllers on four machines at one time (wow what geek - naah, it sucks honestly).
I chose a lead role in a cage and gave up a walk on role in a war.
Damn. If I had listened to floyd for 1 hour daily in my childhood instead of going to school, I would have had all the edcation I ever needed.
I can be myself here. For a change? No usually I am myself all the time. But the problem is that I have so many selves that everyone doesnt get a fair chance.
Like right now I am the mad self...wanting to ramble. Listening to Comfortably Numb (comfortably numb myself) , installing exchange servers and domain controllers on four machines at one time (wow what geek - naah, it sucks honestly).
I chose a lead role in a cage and gave up a walk on role in a war.
Damn. If I had listened to floyd for 1 hour daily in my childhood instead of going to school, I would have had all the edcation I ever needed.
Friday, March 11, 2005
The Day Mona Lisa Wanted her Smile Back
MSN Messenger users will recognize the title of this post. Throughout last week, millions of MSN messenger users lost their smiles to a Trojan (a malicious program that masquerades under another name) that infected their computers using the guise “Mona Lisa wants her smile back.pif”.
Officially named W32.Serflog.A, it spread across the globe through messenger and other network access programs. Serflog was a medium threat Trojan. One of the hundreds (if not more) of its kind that are appear on the Internet every week.
What calls for attention though, is the manner in which Serflog spread. Within hours, it had spanned continents and infected networks – using one of the biggest loopholes in any security system – humans. Everyone in the security business (whether making it or breaking it) knows the tenet - “The weakest link in a security system is the human link”. The spreading of Serflog is a classic example.
Consider this. It is 10:30, Monday morning. You have just entered office and connected your laptop to the Internet. As you log on to MSN messenger, you receive a request from your spouse/friend/colleague’s MSN contact to download a file titled “my topless image in skirt.pif”. You don’t think twice before accepting the request. Your antivirus tool pops umpteen warnings; your antispyware tool starts blinking. You ignore all of them and continue. Five minutes later your hard disk has crashed. Whose fault was it? Who compromised the system? Was it smart code or smart mind reading on the hacker’s part?
Social Engineering is an old term in the hacker community. Experienced hackers and security pros will tell you that the best way to enter a system and steal information or create damage is not by writing smart code. It is by fooling the users of the system. If you can enter the user’s mind, you can enter their systems.
From a 120 Rs/hr luxury, today the Internet has become a part of our personal and work lives. This has tremendous privacy and security implications. The internet is an immensely powerful tool. And like all powerful tools its use can be potentially dangerous, if we don’t understand what we are doing.
I have a friend who is an avid blogger. His blog, apart from being a sensual and intellectual treat for visitors, is also a hacker’s delight. It’s full of little interesting details and insights into his personal life that if carefully pieced together can create a complete psychological picture of the man. Using this picture, it is theoretically possible to narrow down the kind of passwords that this guy is probable to use for anything online. When I told him this, he scoffed at me and asked me to stop reading sci-fi books. You can choose to think like may friend too.
But look at where technology is headed. Every single word that you type on the Internet is being tracked and archived by numerous Web Crawlers and search spiders. Storage technology has evolved to the point where it is virtually costless to store terabytes of data for some future undefined use. Intelligent search bots - software that can read and piece together disjointed information from disparate sources, and consolidate it for humans – is under development. Every time you go onto the Internet, you are throwing open a dozen odd doors and windows for people to listen and see your private world, without your even realizing it.
If you aren’t already, you should start worrying. Because it’s a war out there. And it’s being taken directly into your homes and your personal lives. It is impossible to predict the exact threat and information breach possibilities of the future. But the fact that immense possibilities exist, cannot be denied.
While you are leaving seemingly harmless, small tidbits of information all over the web – your age-group on one website, an email id at another, gender and nationality at a third place and your personal thoughts and problems on a blog - a web spider is scanning and archiving all this into a database somewhere. Someday someone might be interested and resourceful enough to pull out all that information put it together and use it against you.
Antivirus companies, law-makers and security professionals are fighting a losing battle. For one, it is difficult to account for all the permutations that software provides hackers. Second, misinformed, ignorant or careless users render all attempts at security and privacy protection virtually useless. Most users think that the Internet is completely anonymous, impersonal domain. The truth is that there was never a technology that is capable of being plugged into your personal life as much as the Internet.
The problem is much more acute in countries like India. We have an ever-increasing net-user population, a majority of which uses the internet like the television or the telephone. For them it’s another new entertainment and communication tool. With very little clue of what it is all about, they are sitting ducks for hackers and cyber-terrorists.
The problem is aggravated because most of us are using pirated software and have little or no security measures in place. With users out of the security network of software companies and hackers loose, thanks to little or no legislation, India is set for a major cyber-tsunami to strike it. As with all large scale catastrophes and emergencies in the past, the government, media and people in general will be caught napping.
The result will be a series of knee-jerk reactions, ad-hoc legislation, mass-scale paranoia and finger pointing. Apart from the financial, personal or physical damage of a mass-scale cyber attack on our networks, the freedom, trust and openness of the Internet will probably be lost forever.
It is time netizens realized the power and impact of the Internet and gave serious thought to security implications. Its time we started learning basic Internet security guidelines, essential protection methods and implications of specific actions on the internet. Apart from your favorite blogs, online journals, mail accounts and shopping sites, start paying visits to security sites. Subscribe to newsletters on security. And think about making allocations in your budget to buy legal software. We need to realize that we can no longer depend on the family geek for maintaining our PC. That’s as much our job as servicing the car. We need to educate ourselves and people around us. Education and awareness is the only long term protection that we will ever have in this war.
Revolutions bring freedom. But they also bring responsibilities. The internet is mankind’s biggest revolution after the wheel and the fire. It’s our responsibility to protect it from being hijacked and abused. Much as you would like to think, your PC is no longer an impersonal box that sits on a table in the corner. It is now an important part of your life, and by protecting it you are doing your bit to protect your own and the Internet’s future. The internet is an information superhighway. Driving blindly at 180 kmph is going to get you killed one day. Open your eyes before it’s too late.
Officially named W32.Serflog.A, it spread across the globe through messenger and other network access programs. Serflog was a medium threat Trojan. One of the hundreds (if not more) of its kind that are appear on the Internet every week.
What calls for attention though, is the manner in which Serflog spread. Within hours, it had spanned continents and infected networks – using one of the biggest loopholes in any security system – humans. Everyone in the security business (whether making it or breaking it) knows the tenet - “The weakest link in a security system is the human link”. The spreading of Serflog is a classic example.
Consider this. It is 10:30, Monday morning. You have just entered office and connected your laptop to the Internet. As you log on to MSN messenger, you receive a request from your spouse/friend/colleague’s MSN contact to download a file titled “my topless image in skirt.pif”. You don’t think twice before accepting the request. Your antivirus tool pops umpteen warnings; your antispyware tool starts blinking. You ignore all of them and continue. Five minutes later your hard disk has crashed. Whose fault was it? Who compromised the system? Was it smart code or smart mind reading on the hacker’s part?
Social Engineering is an old term in the hacker community. Experienced hackers and security pros will tell you that the best way to enter a system and steal information or create damage is not by writing smart code. It is by fooling the users of the system. If you can enter the user’s mind, you can enter their systems.
From a 120 Rs/hr luxury, today the Internet has become a part of our personal and work lives. This has tremendous privacy and security implications. The internet is an immensely powerful tool. And like all powerful tools its use can be potentially dangerous, if we don’t understand what we are doing.
I have a friend who is an avid blogger. His blog, apart from being a sensual and intellectual treat for visitors, is also a hacker’s delight. It’s full of little interesting details and insights into his personal life that if carefully pieced together can create a complete psychological picture of the man. Using this picture, it is theoretically possible to narrow down the kind of passwords that this guy is probable to use for anything online. When I told him this, he scoffed at me and asked me to stop reading sci-fi books. You can choose to think like may friend too.
But look at where technology is headed. Every single word that you type on the Internet is being tracked and archived by numerous Web Crawlers and search spiders. Storage technology has evolved to the point where it is virtually costless to store terabytes of data for some future undefined use. Intelligent search bots - software that can read and piece together disjointed information from disparate sources, and consolidate it for humans – is under development. Every time you go onto the Internet, you are throwing open a dozen odd doors and windows for people to listen and see your private world, without your even realizing it.
If you aren’t already, you should start worrying. Because it’s a war out there. And it’s being taken directly into your homes and your personal lives. It is impossible to predict the exact threat and information breach possibilities of the future. But the fact that immense possibilities exist, cannot be denied.
While you are leaving seemingly harmless, small tidbits of information all over the web – your age-group on one website, an email id at another, gender and nationality at a third place and your personal thoughts and problems on a blog - a web spider is scanning and archiving all this into a database somewhere. Someday someone might be interested and resourceful enough to pull out all that information put it together and use it against you.
Antivirus companies, law-makers and security professionals are fighting a losing battle. For one, it is difficult to account for all the permutations that software provides hackers. Second, misinformed, ignorant or careless users render all attempts at security and privacy protection virtually useless. Most users think that the Internet is completely anonymous, impersonal domain. The truth is that there was never a technology that is capable of being plugged into your personal life as much as the Internet.
The problem is much more acute in countries like India. We have an ever-increasing net-user population, a majority of which uses the internet like the television or the telephone. For them it’s another new entertainment and communication tool. With very little clue of what it is all about, they are sitting ducks for hackers and cyber-terrorists.
The problem is aggravated because most of us are using pirated software and have little or no security measures in place. With users out of the security network of software companies and hackers loose, thanks to little or no legislation, India is set for a major cyber-tsunami to strike it. As with all large scale catastrophes and emergencies in the past, the government, media and people in general will be caught napping.
The result will be a series of knee-jerk reactions, ad-hoc legislation, mass-scale paranoia and finger pointing. Apart from the financial, personal or physical damage of a mass-scale cyber attack on our networks, the freedom, trust and openness of the Internet will probably be lost forever.
It is time netizens realized the power and impact of the Internet and gave serious thought to security implications. Its time we started learning basic Internet security guidelines, essential protection methods and implications of specific actions on the internet. Apart from your favorite blogs, online journals, mail accounts and shopping sites, start paying visits to security sites. Subscribe to newsletters on security. And think about making allocations in your budget to buy legal software. We need to realize that we can no longer depend on the family geek for maintaining our PC. That’s as much our job as servicing the car. We need to educate ourselves and people around us. Education and awareness is the only long term protection that we will ever have in this war.
Revolutions bring freedom. But they also bring responsibilities. The internet is mankind’s biggest revolution after the wheel and the fire. It’s our responsibility to protect it from being hijacked and abused. Much as you would like to think, your PC is no longer an impersonal box that sits on a table in the corner. It is now an important part of your life, and by protecting it you are doing your bit to protect your own and the Internet’s future. The internet is an information superhighway. Driving blindly at 180 kmph is going to get you killed one day. Open your eyes before it’s too late.
Sunday, March 06, 2005
Of Opium and Fire Water
Human history is replete with colonial expansions and military conquest of one nation over another. From cathartic events in the lives of the people of those times, and turning points in the course of world affairs, these expansions or military conquests have now been reduced to mere chapters in history textbooks, to be learnt by rote and reproduced in exams.
Unfortunately, our school colleges and universities, although good in making its students learn chapters, fail in making them see the underlying lesson, the moral in those chapters. And that is precisely why history gets a chance of repeating herself.
As I observe 21st century India around me - in her youth, in her new incarnation - I cannot help but remember two murky lessons of the past. One relates to fire-water. The other to Opium.
In the early 1700s the first British colonial expansion started in the Americas. Here was a vast, untamed, untouched (by the white) continent, rich in all kinds of resources required for the Industrial revolution. But there was a small problem. The Red Indians. America would never have been conquered by the British if the fierce, battle ready Red Indians had prevailed and won. But they lost - they lost their land, their culture and their identity - and are today reduced to a minority in their own homes.
However the point here is not that the natives lost to the British. The point is the manner in which this conquest was brought about. The victory, a gradual, bloody one, was brought about more by fire-water than by gunfire.
Alcohol or firewater as the Red Indians began to call it, brought about the slow but steady destruction of the socio-economic structure of the Indian tribal system. This led to a weakening of their military might. For the British, it was a systematic twin-pronged campaign. On one hand, in the name of friendship they made drunkards out of entire nation's youth. And their armies attacked and destroyed the drunk and dazed braves on the battlefield.
The second chapter that I mention is again about the British. It could be coincidence, but I like to think of it as an encore of a tried and tested formulae.
More than a century after the British expansion into Americas, a certain trading enterprise, by the name of the East India Company, started trading operations with China. Chinese tea was in great demand in Britain. But unfortunately Britain had nothing to offer China. This was a highly sophisticated, cultured civilization that had no use of the white man or anything that he had to offer. Until someone in the British camp thought about Opium.
And then began another systematic decay of an erstwhile well-organized, mature society. Trade imbalances swung the reverse way and demand for opium far outweighed the demand for tea. Chinese youth found themselves caught in a vicious cycle. Opium brought about their economic ruin. To escape mental trauma they indulged in more opium. Finally, the British used opium itself as a pretext to put the final nail into the coffin of the Chinese nation. The Opium Wars themselves are well documented in history.
In both these incidents, there are certain distinctly similar traits. A highly advanced, industrial, capitalist society, driven by its socio-economic urge for higher profits and larger markets or resources, approaches a society that is industrially less advanced but socio-economically mature and independent.
A full fledged armed conflict at the first instance is avoided. Rather the aggressor resorts to subversive ways of weakening the foundations of the society - by intoxicating (decapitating) the youth or making the society economically weak or unbalanced through artificial means.
For a long time, the incumbent society is not aware of the big picture. People react in knee jerk ways, lacking long term vision and trying to escape from the situation. There is both a lack of coordinated efforts and a willingness to take up responsible decisive actions for the entire society. By the time this subversion is uncovered and the aggressed society cries foul it is too late. Its youth are caught in a mire of apathy and intoxication. The social structure is crumbling. A small extra nudge from outside and the entire nation falls in front of the aggressors like a house of cards.
I know your are wondering by now that we are neither Red Indians nor Chinese. We have intoxication and drug addiction but neither is as widespread. We live in a much equitable world order where no nation aggresses another nation just like that - unless it is in the middle-east or is Afghanistan or Libya, Sudan. Then too, colonialism as such is a word of the past. And finally, India is an emerging economic superpower and our youth are anything but intoxicated on a mass scale like the red-Indians or the Chinese.
But this is not about opium or alcohol intoxication. Wish it were that simple. Then it would be much easier to fight. But this is much more subtle. So subtle that even though I can feel this aggression, I cannot identify the aggressor, cannot point out the subversion or the modus operandi.
I only see the symptoms - the early signs of the oncoming disease. A growing apathy of the youth for anything other than concerning themselves, an increasing desire to escape from the present, absolute unwillingness to confront issues, an inability to see the long term, lack of compassion for the society and vision.
I conclude by putting things into context. I live in Pune – christened as the Oxford of the East. A student city – its economy and social-ecosystem dictated by the youth. Pune is alive, happening, culturally active, politically aware. Or is it? I am trying hard to belive it is. I look around for symptoms of life.
In the pubs and bars of pune, amidst loud music and partying, I strain hard to hear someone planning something for the street children of the city. In the posh multiplexes I look hard for young boys and girls gathering to spread social awareness on AIDS. On college campuses and canteens I try to eavesdrop on discussions on trying out radical and brave new ideas or new technology.
But I hear nothing. The words that I am trying to hear, the ideas that I am trying to listen to, the awareness campaigns, students movements, cultural activities, that I am dying to see, are not there. In there stead is just plain apathy, mental languor and a desire to escape to reality by any means. It just reminds me of opium and fire-water. And I fear that history is about to repeat herself – albeit in a completely new way.
Unfortunately, our school colleges and universities, although good in making its students learn chapters, fail in making them see the underlying lesson, the moral in those chapters. And that is precisely why history gets a chance of repeating herself.
As I observe 21st century India around me - in her youth, in her new incarnation - I cannot help but remember two murky lessons of the past. One relates to fire-water. The other to Opium.
In the early 1700s the first British colonial expansion started in the Americas. Here was a vast, untamed, untouched (by the white) continent, rich in all kinds of resources required for the Industrial revolution. But there was a small problem. The Red Indians. America would never have been conquered by the British if the fierce, battle ready Red Indians had prevailed and won. But they lost - they lost their land, their culture and their identity - and are today reduced to a minority in their own homes.
However the point here is not that the natives lost to the British. The point is the manner in which this conquest was brought about. The victory, a gradual, bloody one, was brought about more by fire-water than by gunfire.
Alcohol or firewater as the Red Indians began to call it, brought about the slow but steady destruction of the socio-economic structure of the Indian tribal system. This led to a weakening of their military might. For the British, it was a systematic twin-pronged campaign. On one hand, in the name of friendship they made drunkards out of entire nation's youth. And their armies attacked and destroyed the drunk and dazed braves on the battlefield.
The second chapter that I mention is again about the British. It could be coincidence, but I like to think of it as an encore of a tried and tested formulae.
More than a century after the British expansion into Americas, a certain trading enterprise, by the name of the East India Company, started trading operations with China. Chinese tea was in great demand in Britain. But unfortunately Britain had nothing to offer China. This was a highly sophisticated, cultured civilization that had no use of the white man or anything that he had to offer. Until someone in the British camp thought about Opium.
And then began another systematic decay of an erstwhile well-organized, mature society. Trade imbalances swung the reverse way and demand for opium far outweighed the demand for tea. Chinese youth found themselves caught in a vicious cycle. Opium brought about their economic ruin. To escape mental trauma they indulged in more opium. Finally, the British used opium itself as a pretext to put the final nail into the coffin of the Chinese nation. The Opium Wars themselves are well documented in history.
In both these incidents, there are certain distinctly similar traits. A highly advanced, industrial, capitalist society, driven by its socio-economic urge for higher profits and larger markets or resources, approaches a society that is industrially less advanced but socio-economically mature and independent.
A full fledged armed conflict at the first instance is avoided. Rather the aggressor resorts to subversive ways of weakening the foundations of the society - by intoxicating (decapitating) the youth or making the society economically weak or unbalanced through artificial means.
For a long time, the incumbent society is not aware of the big picture. People react in knee jerk ways, lacking long term vision and trying to escape from the situation. There is both a lack of coordinated efforts and a willingness to take up responsible decisive actions for the entire society. By the time this subversion is uncovered and the aggressed society cries foul it is too late. Its youth are caught in a mire of apathy and intoxication. The social structure is crumbling. A small extra nudge from outside and the entire nation falls in front of the aggressors like a house of cards.
I know your are wondering by now that we are neither Red Indians nor Chinese. We have intoxication and drug addiction but neither is as widespread. We live in a much equitable world order where no nation aggresses another nation just like that - unless it is in the middle-east or is Afghanistan or Libya, Sudan. Then too, colonialism as such is a word of the past. And finally, India is an emerging economic superpower and our youth are anything but intoxicated on a mass scale like the red-Indians or the Chinese.
But this is not about opium or alcohol intoxication. Wish it were that simple. Then it would be much easier to fight. But this is much more subtle. So subtle that even though I can feel this aggression, I cannot identify the aggressor, cannot point out the subversion or the modus operandi.
I only see the symptoms - the early signs of the oncoming disease. A growing apathy of the youth for anything other than concerning themselves, an increasing desire to escape from the present, absolute unwillingness to confront issues, an inability to see the long term, lack of compassion for the society and vision.
I conclude by putting things into context. I live in Pune – christened as the Oxford of the East. A student city – its economy and social-ecosystem dictated by the youth. Pune is alive, happening, culturally active, politically aware. Or is it? I am trying hard to belive it is. I look around for symptoms of life.
In the pubs and bars of pune, amidst loud music and partying, I strain hard to hear someone planning something for the street children of the city. In the posh multiplexes I look hard for young boys and girls gathering to spread social awareness on AIDS. On college campuses and canteens I try to eavesdrop on discussions on trying out radical and brave new ideas or new technology.
But I hear nothing. The words that I am trying to hear, the ideas that I am trying to listen to, the awareness campaigns, students movements, cultural activities, that I am dying to see, are not there. In there stead is just plain apathy, mental languor and a desire to escape to reality by any means. It just reminds me of opium and fire-water. And I fear that history is about to repeat herself – albeit in a completely new way.
Wednesday, March 02, 2005
A Chat Transcript
this is a discussion that I had with a friend after she read my post on love ( the one immiediately below this one). I posted this so that all those folks who will come with the dagger after me once they have read that post, can further sharpen them after reading this. And aslo so that I dont have to speak the same things repeatedly.
So before you read this post, read the one below it.
-------------------------------------------
My Friend Thats partially true
titash neogi :) completely
My Friend nope
titash neogi yes...
My Friend because thats how you think u are Titash and because I think what I think this is me :)
titash neogi :) see if u have a point u ahve to prove it
My Friend and how did u prove it ?
titash neogi look around yourself..
My Friend I would suggest the same to u
titash neogi :)
titash neogi the point is...u have to tell me..if love isnt ego then wat is it?
titash neogi can u do that?
My Friend dont u believe that there can be love without expectations and without having to pamper ones ego ?
titash neogi ego = self. when u do something selflessly, u r still catering to an inner urge to be a martyr...subconciously u r telling urself ...i am in love and i will do this for him or her .....
My Friend no !!!
My Friend u do it because u want to
My Friend love is a relationship
My Friend it may not be completely selfless
titash neogi thts y i sed ki it works in devious ways...u dont realise it....when u r sacrificing....thinking tht u r doing it without expectations...ya exactly..YOU want to....its an inner urge....the urge to be selfless....
My Friend thats not ego
My Friend an inner urge to do good, do u call that ego?
My Friend or being selfish ?
My Friend I wouldnt
titash neogi ego = self.....its a broad defintiion of ego
titash neogi :) u wont bcos its a very alien concept to u....
titash neogi most ppl wont
My Friend dont be so cynical
My Friend things can be nice..........ppl can be nice
titash neogi bt thts basically it...its impossible to do anything in this world without thinking of the self... :)
titash neogi lol...i never sed tht they cant be....u r a nice person...bt tht doesnt have anything to with ur thinking first for urself
My Friend ohhhh pls !!!
My Friend and why do u think am I talking to u now
titash neogi bcos there r no calls coming in :)
titash neogi and bcos u like talking to me...
titash neogi u get emotional/intellectual/ or any other sort of entertainment...
titash neogi simple....
titash neogi :) and thts nothing wrong either
My Friend so its ME that I am entertaining with u as an object .........?
titash neogi ofcourse :)
My Friend is probably what u think
My Friend !!!!!!
My Friend I wud probably not chat with u after this, nothing personal
titash neogi lol...thts fine...thts bcos i have hurt ur ego...if speaking the truth is something tht stops u from talking to me...i cant help it...thts probably wat a lot of ppl wud do to me...
titash neogi bt i too am catering to my self..my ego.... :)
So before you read this post, read the one below it.
-------------------------------------------
My Friend Thats partially true
titash neogi :) completely
My Friend nope
titash neogi yes...
My Friend because thats how you think u are Titash and because I think what I think this is me :)
titash neogi :) see if u have a point u ahve to prove it
My Friend and how did u prove it ?
titash neogi look around yourself..
My Friend I would suggest the same to u
titash neogi :)
titash neogi the point is...u have to tell me..if love isnt ego then wat is it?
titash neogi can u do that?
My Friend dont u believe that there can be love without expectations and without having to pamper ones ego ?
titash neogi ego = self. when u do something selflessly, u r still catering to an inner urge to be a martyr...subconciously u r telling urself ...i am in love and i will do this for him or her .....
My Friend no !!!
My Friend u do it because u want to
My Friend love is a relationship
My Friend it may not be completely selfless
titash neogi thts y i sed ki it works in devious ways...u dont realise it....when u r sacrificing....thinking tht u r doing it without expectations...ya exactly..YOU want to....its an inner urge....the urge to be selfless....
My Friend thats not ego
My Friend an inner urge to do good, do u call that ego?
My Friend or being selfish ?
My Friend I wouldnt
titash neogi ego = self.....its a broad defintiion of ego
titash neogi :) u wont bcos its a very alien concept to u....
titash neogi most ppl wont
My Friend dont be so cynical
My Friend things can be nice..........ppl can be nice
titash neogi bt thts basically it...its impossible to do anything in this world without thinking of the self... :)
titash neogi lol...i never sed tht they cant be....u r a nice person...bt tht doesnt have anything to with ur thinking first for urself
My Friend ohhhh pls !!!
My Friend and why do u think am I talking to u now
titash neogi bcos there r no calls coming in :)
titash neogi and bcos u like talking to me...
titash neogi u get emotional/intellectual/ or any other sort of entertainment...
titash neogi simple....
titash neogi :) and thts nothing wrong either
My Friend so its ME that I am entertaining with u as an object .........?
titash neogi ofcourse :)
My Friend is probably what u think
My Friend !!!!!!
My Friend I wud probably not chat with u after this, nothing personal
titash neogi lol...thts fine...thts bcos i have hurt ur ego...if speaking the truth is something tht stops u from talking to me...i cant help it...thts probably wat a lot of ppl wud do to me...
titash neogi bt i too am catering to my self..my ego.... :)
Shove that love
This may sound angsty. This may sound like the remonstrations of a freshly jilted, unrequited lover. Complete with a beard, teary eyes, messy hair and crumpled clothes. But it is none of these.
This post I write in one of my sanest, most analytical moods, akin to the mindset of a scientist writing his research observations in a chemical laboratory. Life is my laboratory, people my instruments and chemicals and this blog my lab-notebook. And right now, as the day ends, my test-tube and beakers lie on their stands, my Bunsen burner has been turned of, and my chemical stained white coat lies draped on a chair. I sit and right my days observations.
Last night a friend told me that she was in love. (with whom matters not). And confessed to heartbreak and pining - the object of her love being unavailable.
I was at a loss to say anything. I hummed and hoed and kept silent. But mental gears shifted and I was asking myself is she truly in love? And, above all what exactly is love? I have been trying to define love ever since.
Love is ego. Love is a manifestation of the self. Nothing more and nothing less. All forms of love are just our quests to fulfill the I.
Maternal love is the fulfillment of the self in the offspring. Extend that to parental.
Conjugal love is the feeling arising out of possession. A man loves a woman because she is his. And a woman loves a woman because he is hers. No that’s not rocket science. But can you identify the ego there. The single letter "I" shining everywhere.
And finally even god loves us on the precondition that we accept "HIS" existence and obey "HIM". You satisfy god's ego and you get a free, all expenses paid trip to heaven. At least that’s what the bible says. (Considering that Christianity is by far the biggest religion in the world, I have taken the bible as a definitive guide to divinity - its like the Microsoft of the religious industry, so it gets to rule).
Of course, quite simple since god is easy to satisfy. All you got to do is say "Hey there, I believe in you" once in seven days. and follow the rulebook that gods mommy made him follow as a kid - clean behind the ears, shining shoes, brush your teeth - regular stuff all.
Sorry for the digression. As I said, love is ego. And its such an obvious conclusion, I am sure most people realize that already. The most concrete love is vested in the satisfaction of the self. Anything else, anything that is not self-gratis, will erode soon.
And this works in quite devious underhand ways to fool humans into thinking that love is a feeling/emotion that stands by itself. Like the lover who pines in separation. Sacrifices, kills himself or herself -and thinks its an act of love. Its basically ego. The big question that haunts them "Why did she leave ME" (notice the capital letters).
What else do I say? Its the same thing everywhere - MY son, MY wife/husband, MY garden, MY god - MY MY MY. I I I.
Ok. If you are wondering, there’s absolutely nothing wrong with this. That love is just a metamorphosed form of ego, an exercise in self-fulfillment, is perfectly normal and also something good. For whatever the task list that you were sent with on earth, #1 in it is self preservation and self fulfillment. If you cant do that, you cant do anything on earth.
Most people don’t realize the #1 task. Others realize it, but don’t know how to go about doing it correctly and end up doing stupid things. Finally there’s the chosen few who both figure it out and find a way out of doing it.
The best examples that come to my mind are Jesus and Hitler. One decided to save the Jews. The other decided to gas them. In both cases they were just satisfying their inherent need to satisfy an inner urge. Its like "If I am here, I might as well do something" The Jews were just a means to satisfy an end. Of course both men ended up dead in their high powered ego-drive, but then that’s where we all are headed eventually.
Sorry, digressed again. So my point is love whoever you want to love, pine all you want, become a martyr or a parent, but know that you are doing it just for yourself. And that’s the best you can do as human.
This post I write in one of my sanest, most analytical moods, akin to the mindset of a scientist writing his research observations in a chemical laboratory. Life is my laboratory, people my instruments and chemicals and this blog my lab-notebook. And right now, as the day ends, my test-tube and beakers lie on their stands, my Bunsen burner has been turned of, and my chemical stained white coat lies draped on a chair. I sit and right my days observations.
Last night a friend told me that she was in love. (with whom matters not). And confessed to heartbreak and pining - the object of her love being unavailable.
I was at a loss to say anything. I hummed and hoed and kept silent. But mental gears shifted and I was asking myself is she truly in love? And, above all what exactly is love? I have been trying to define love ever since.
Love is ego. Love is a manifestation of the self. Nothing more and nothing less. All forms of love are just our quests to fulfill the I.
Maternal love is the fulfillment of the self in the offspring. Extend that to parental.
Conjugal love is the feeling arising out of possession. A man loves a woman because she is his. And a woman loves a woman because he is hers. No that’s not rocket science. But can you identify the ego there. The single letter "I" shining everywhere.
And finally even god loves us on the precondition that we accept "HIS" existence and obey "HIM". You satisfy god's ego and you get a free, all expenses paid trip to heaven. At least that’s what the bible says. (Considering that Christianity is by far the biggest religion in the world, I have taken the bible as a definitive guide to divinity - its like the Microsoft of the religious industry, so it gets to rule).
Of course, quite simple since god is easy to satisfy. All you got to do is say "Hey there, I believe in you" once in seven days. and follow the rulebook that gods mommy made him follow as a kid - clean behind the ears, shining shoes, brush your teeth - regular stuff all.
Sorry for the digression. As I said, love is ego. And its such an obvious conclusion, I am sure most people realize that already. The most concrete love is vested in the satisfaction of the self. Anything else, anything that is not self-gratis, will erode soon.
And this works in quite devious underhand ways to fool humans into thinking that love is a feeling/emotion that stands by itself. Like the lover who pines in separation. Sacrifices, kills himself or herself -and thinks its an act of love. Its basically ego. The big question that haunts them "Why did she leave ME" (notice the capital letters).
What else do I say? Its the same thing everywhere - MY son, MY wife/husband, MY garden, MY god - MY MY MY. I I I.
Ok. If you are wondering, there’s absolutely nothing wrong with this. That love is just a metamorphosed form of ego, an exercise in self-fulfillment, is perfectly normal and also something good. For whatever the task list that you were sent with on earth, #1 in it is self preservation and self fulfillment. If you cant do that, you cant do anything on earth.
Most people don’t realize the #1 task. Others realize it, but don’t know how to go about doing it correctly and end up doing stupid things. Finally there’s the chosen few who both figure it out and find a way out of doing it.
The best examples that come to my mind are Jesus and Hitler. One decided to save the Jews. The other decided to gas them. In both cases they were just satisfying their inherent need to satisfy an inner urge. Its like "If I am here, I might as well do something" The Jews were just a means to satisfy an end. Of course both men ended up dead in their high powered ego-drive, but then that’s where we all are headed eventually.
Sorry, digressed again. So my point is love whoever you want to love, pine all you want, become a martyr or a parent, but know that you are doing it just for yourself. And that’s the best you can do as human.
Tuesday, March 01, 2005
Its Party Time in Pune
At 12 in the night, in the middle of writing the operation of Exchange Databases, I was buzzed by my friends – reminding me of a party. I knew I was invited, but I had conveniently hoped that they had forgotten me and I could manage to get by unnoticed. But people have a way of remembering you exactly on occasions when you expect them not to and vice-versa. Its one of those things in life that you find so irritating but you really can’t do anything about.
Anyway, so these folks remember my existence midway through the party. It is probably because the party is getting boring. Consider this, whenever you are invited to a bash by your buddies and you don’t turn up, and in the middle of it they call you and really force you to come over - no dude, they are not missing you. They are plain bored and are just seeking new modes of entertainment. They expect to have that by virtue of your arrival or by bitching about your refusal. Either ways, you are just a source of entertainment for them.
So I have to go, because I haven’t mastered the tact of being politely rude to people. And half an hour later I find myself in the middle of inane jokes, booze and chicken, some dude acting like he is Sylvester Stallone and Jim Carrie rolled into one, folks with plastic smiles on their faces, like some got enlarged prints of the :D yahoo smilies and pasted it on everyone, 3 completely dumb women who have no clue what the conversation is all about, 7 semi intelligent men who are figuring out ways of getting any of the girls into bed. Basically a bunch of folks with absolutely nothing to do after work and no one who gives damn about their existence. Give or take a few more things like the absence or presence of music, the degree of female body-part visibility, the amount of raucousness and inanity of conversation, and that’s what all Pune's parties are.
Trust me, I am not Bohemian, or anti-social. I love people and I love hanging out with friends. But Pune's parties seem so fake. All of them give me the feeling of a huge socio-emotional void that is nagging everyone and that people are trying to fill through artificial means.
Ten people sitting in a room, making mindless conversation, mostly about sex, trying desperately to appear happy - so hard at work that it makes them sweat, and sitting with the full knowledge that none of them gives a damn about anyone else in the room. This is what we are at our best of times. Can there be anything more tragic than this? And is this truly what society and socializing is all about?
Anyway, so these folks remember my existence midway through the party. It is probably because the party is getting boring. Consider this, whenever you are invited to a bash by your buddies and you don’t turn up, and in the middle of it they call you and really force you to come over - no dude, they are not missing you. They are plain bored and are just seeking new modes of entertainment. They expect to have that by virtue of your arrival or by bitching about your refusal. Either ways, you are just a source of entertainment for them.
So I have to go, because I haven’t mastered the tact of being politely rude to people. And half an hour later I find myself in the middle of inane jokes, booze and chicken, some dude acting like he is Sylvester Stallone and Jim Carrie rolled into one, folks with plastic smiles on their faces, like some got enlarged prints of the :D yahoo smilies and pasted it on everyone, 3 completely dumb women who have no clue what the conversation is all about, 7 semi intelligent men who are figuring out ways of getting any of the girls into bed. Basically a bunch of folks with absolutely nothing to do after work and no one who gives damn about their existence. Give or take a few more things like the absence or presence of music, the degree of female body-part visibility, the amount of raucousness and inanity of conversation, and that’s what all Pune's parties are.
Trust me, I am not Bohemian, or anti-social. I love people and I love hanging out with friends. But Pune's parties seem so fake. All of them give me the feeling of a huge socio-emotional void that is nagging everyone and that people are trying to fill through artificial means.
Ten people sitting in a room, making mindless conversation, mostly about sex, trying desperately to appear happy - so hard at work that it makes them sweat, and sitting with the full knowledge that none of them gives a damn about anyone else in the room. This is what we are at our best of times. Can there be anything more tragic than this? And is this truly what society and socializing is all about?
Judas Iscariot Versus The Rest of Us
Was Judas evil? Or was he different? Did he really betray Jesus or was he just an instrument who helped Jesus reach his goal?
Judas symbolizes the fact that for the manifestation of the good, the evil is indispensable.
Good and evil are merely reflections of each other. Or perhaps perspectives. And they have a common link - they are both forces. One is triggered by the other.
Could Jesus have attained divinity without Judas's betrayal? Are not Judas and Jesus mirror images. Complimentary people who fulfilled each others lives.
This brings me to the point that I am trying to raise. To say that Judas was bad or evil would be so unfair. Judas was just different. He thought differently from the other disciples and therefore he acted differently. His difference of thinking led to actions that cost Jesus his life. But what a conundrum that is. Because if Jesus had not been crucified, he would not have been resurrected and become Christ.
We must learn to identify the Judas Iscariots amongst us. Not to be warned of them. But to observe them and be grateful of them. For they are the ones who are chosen as the instruments of change. In the difference of their actions and thoughts lies the furtherance of things.
To label people as good or bad based on their actions may be convenient, but may not be the correct way. No one is bad or good in this world. Some are Judas Iscariots and some are the other 12. The Judases just think and act differently, but that doesn’t mean they are evil. And it is to the Judases of the world that we owe our Jesuses.
Judas symbolizes the fact that for the manifestation of the good, the evil is indispensable.
Good and evil are merely reflections of each other. Or perhaps perspectives. And they have a common link - they are both forces. One is triggered by the other.
Could Jesus have attained divinity without Judas's betrayal? Are not Judas and Jesus mirror images. Complimentary people who fulfilled each others lives.
This brings me to the point that I am trying to raise. To say that Judas was bad or evil would be so unfair. Judas was just different. He thought differently from the other disciples and therefore he acted differently. His difference of thinking led to actions that cost Jesus his life. But what a conundrum that is. Because if Jesus had not been crucified, he would not have been resurrected and become Christ.
We must learn to identify the Judas Iscariots amongst us. Not to be warned of them. But to observe them and be grateful of them. For they are the ones who are chosen as the instruments of change. In the difference of their actions and thoughts lies the furtherance of things.
To label people as good or bad based on their actions may be convenient, but may not be the correct way. No one is bad or good in this world. Some are Judas Iscariots and some are the other 12. The Judases just think and act differently, but that doesn’t mean they are evil. And it is to the Judases of the world that we owe our Jesuses.