Relationships...part i

Are relationships symbiotic, transient contacts between humans? Or are relationships free, selfless, everlasting bonds of human emotion? (Or are they both? Or none of the two?)

If relationships are selfless,then why do I have to play roles? Why can I not be my self, my own
true self in these relations? why are there expectations and strings attached with them? If they are free then Why are they called bonds and not freedoms?

If they are everlasting then why this fear of losing them? If their strength is eternal then why can I not analyse their foundations? And why can i not ask WHY? And why am I told that I think too much?

Thinking is the first activity that sets me apart from animals? If "not thinking" is a criterea for
being in a relationship, is it then a human activity at all?

The only thing that is truely free and everlasting is the air we breathe. Why are relations not like that air? Allowing us to draw deep and fill ourselves with it, without worrying about having to return anything to it?

And if they are not free, if they come at a recurring price, should I buy them? If they are transient and likely to be destroyed or metamorphosed with time, should I form them at all?

...to be continued

I Write Therefore I Am

This moment in time I try to capture in my words. When all seems hopeless, unattainable and lost. The writer in me despairs. My novel languishes in neglect. The plot confused, the chapters stale, the characters dead.

Within, two forces fight - doubt and confidence. Two voices - negative and positive.

One says you shall never make it, its an illusion, a fantasy, summer dream, a chimera. There is nothing writerly in you. Your style is sloppy, your grammar bad, and your plot is oh so dull.

Another voice counters. It is not what you have, but what you think you have. If you can dream it, you can acheive it. For nature does not give dreams to those who it thinks not fit to achieve.

So now I can choose to languish in doubt and self pity, yield before I have even picked up the sword. Or I can choose to rise up and fight, die in action rather than choosing to surrender. For there is no pain greater than the pain of never having tried.

And therefore, at this moment in time - as these forces within struggle to take control of me - I record this struggle. One of the series of struggles that I fight, in my quest to find the writer within.

Each time I win, becuase I know - I Write Therefore I Am

Stories and Novels

Stories...

are like battles. You need speed, agility, decision and vigour.

Novels...

are like wars. You need stamina, patience, strategy and foresight.